Fic: In Sickness and in Health
Apr. 21st, 2012 08:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
embolaliaTitle: In Sickness and in Health
Pairing: Kara/Leoben
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1,655
Warning: While I don't think I touch on any triggery subjects here, this is set on New Caprica.
Summary: Kara is confronted with what it means to be human.
A/N: For prompts from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hearts_blood for Kara/Leoben hurt/comfort and from deborah_judge for Kara dealing with a sick Leobeon on NC. Thank you both!
In Sickness and in Health
Leoben staggers in the door, slamming it behind him. He locks every lock, then stumbles down the stairs. Kara stares up at him, caught off guard.
He makes it almost all the way to the couch where she’s sitting before he collapses on the floor. His face is pale and sweat is rolling slowly down his cheek. He struggles to roll onto his back.
Kara leans over the arm of the couch to stare at him, upside down, the planes of his face meaningless.
Leoben coughs hard, the effort wracking his body. “Kara,” he gasps hoarsely.
“Huh.” Rising, she steps over him, and goes into the bedroom, and closes the door.
*
Sometime after dark, she comes out again. He’s still laying on the floor, his skin grey and damp. His eyes flutter open as she turns on the light and sets about making something to eat. When he turns to see her better, Kara shrugs. “I’m not about to starve because there’s something wrong with you.”
There’s no stove here - he wouldn’t trust her with fire - but she heats noodles in the microwave and sits on the edge of the couch, watching him. Halfway through her meal, Kara sighs. “Okay, I’m bored. What’s wrong with you?”
Leoben coughs, hacking, as he tries to speak. “I don’t--know. The baseship that left with,” he interrupts himself, coughing again. “Baltar. He was going to lead them to Earth.”
Kara stares down at him in horror. “Motherfrakker! He just gave us up! Just like that!”
He shakes his head, swallows convulsively. “Cavil said he’d nuke this--this planet. Would have.”
She grimaces. “Still.” She stares off toward the window, the narrow glimpse of real life continuing down below.
“Brought back a disease.”
Kara’s eyes snap to him. “Do all the Cylons have it? They’re all like this?”
He shrugs as best he can, flat on his back. “I resurrected with it...after you stabbed me.” For a moment his eyes close, his breath slowing, and then his whole body convulses in a coughing fit. “Water,” Leoben gasps, “Kara.”
She snorts. “Get it yourself.” She takes another bite of noodles, then sets them down beyond his reach and wanders to the window, looks down at the settlement. “Maybe it’s just your destiny to die.”
Leoben doesn’t answer. His breath rasps in his chest.
Kara stares for a long moment, then leaves him alone.
*
By the time she wakes up the next morning, he doesn’t seem to be quite conscious. When Kara gets close enough she can see his lips moving, mouthing something like her name, but he doesn’t make a sound.
She goes into the bathroom, breaks the mirror, holds a piece of the glass against his throat, just to see what he’ll do, whether he’s faking. Leoben’s eyelids flutter but he doesn’t react, even when she presses hard enough to draw a drop of blood.
Finally, rolling her eyes, she goes into the kitchen, pours him a cup of water and holds it to his lips. The taste of it brings him around enough to start to swallow, and by the time he’s finished his second cup he’s awake, staring up at her with awe and gratitude.
Kara shifts away from him, shrugging diffidently. “I figured if you died, the pain would be over, right? Better for you to suffer.”
He smiles at her. “I need to eat,” he says hoarsely.
Kara glares, then heads into the kitchen. “Bread?” she calls. “What do you think?”
He’s coughing again, can’t answer. She grimaces as she starts to take vegetables out of the refrigerator. “Soup it is,” she mutters to herself.
*
She gets him to eat something, but he seems to be getting worse: he’s shaking with fever. Kara reminds him it’s not too late to die and get it over with.
Leoben twists to look at her, afraid in a way she hasn’t seen before, didn’t see even when he was about to be airlocked. “Come on,” she mutters, and shifts him enough that she can half-carry, half-drag him toward the bedroom. Halfway there he throws up the soup and Kara drops him, looking down in revulsion. Then she sighs, and heads into the bathroom to start the tub.
“Sorry,” Leoben gets out as she lifts him again.
“Whatever,” Kara bites out, trying to lever him up. “My mother was worse when she’d been drinking.”
Hoisting him into the bath is the hardest part. She leaves his boxers on - her sympathy only extends so far. Once he’s in and propped up well enough, Kara settles on the floor across from the tub, staring at him in bemusement as the cool water brings his temperature down.
“What is it?” Leoben asks after a while, his voice sounding closer to normal.
She’s frowning at his pants, stained with sweat and vomit. “You’re machines. You don’t have to get sick. Why the frak would you choose to be like this?”
He doesn’t quite smile. “We are what you made us.”
“Humans didn’t make skinjobs,” she snaps.
“No.” His head rolls against the edge of the tub as he shakes it. “You made their minds. The Centurions. Let them think, let them want and and hate and love. God showed them that that was what it meant to be human. And they want to.”
Kara snorts in disgust. “But they also want us dead.”
Leoben stares at her, waiting for her to meet his eyes. “Didn’t you ever want your mother to be dead, Kara? Gone? Not hurting you anymore?” His teeth are chattering but he presses on. “Did it mean you didn’t love her? Were your feelings ever simple enough to put into words?” He groans and sinks a few inches into the water.
She glares at him a moment longer, then reaches for a towel. “Frak you.”
*
He seems to sleep once she drags him to the bed, but it’s filled with fever dreams, any energy left expended in thrashing and coughing. Kara tries to sleep out on the couch but is woken over and over by the sound of him in the bedroom. As the night passes she finds herself at the window, staring down at the settlement and thinking of her mother, of what those last days were like, of the choice to leave her alone.
Hours before dawn, Kara settles on the bed beside Leoben, shoving roughly at his shoulder to wake him.
He blinks up at her, looking even more tired than when she left.
“Did you mean it on the Gemenon Traveler?” Kara demands. “Did you think your soul would just be gone?”
For a long time he doesn’t answer. “I didn’t know,” he finally whispers. “I wanted to be with you.”
She leans back, glaring down at him. “What about now?”
He shakes his head. “There’s a prayer,” he offers. His voice is so hoarse she has to move closer again to hear. “To the cloud of unknowing. To offer our souls to God.” He turns to her, the fear from earlier back in his eyes. Leoben studies her, eyes tracing her features.
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you staring is rude?” Kara snaps peevishly.
“What if I never see you again?” he murmurs.
She looks back at him, fighting an inexplicable urge to cry. He’s coughed and sweated and vomited, but for the first time it seems like he’s nothing if not human. He might die. Kara reaches out, rests her hand on his. “Okay.”
“Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer,” Kara starts, weaving her fingers between Leoben’s. She watches their hands, not sure what it would mean to meet his eyes. He squeezes her hand as she continues to pray, to her gods and then, haltingly, to his.
His fingers go limp and she shudders in horror before realizing he’s fallen asleep. Kara doesn’t let go, just shifts to get more comfortable. “Do you know the story of Demeter and Persephone?” she asks softly, as if he’ll answer. “It’s been told lots of different ways, but this is the one I like best.” She spins the tale around them, and then another and another, whispering myths and stories and prayers until light starts to filter in the window. Then, at last, she lies down, resting her head on the blanket beside his shoulder.
*
When Kara wakes up, she’s alone. For a split second she’s sure he’s dead, that the Gods have taken him, but then just before she starts to cry, logic returns. He has a body; he has to be somewhere.
“Leoben?” Kara calls, sliding off the bed and heading into the living room.
He’s sitting up on the couch, head resting back against the wall.
“False alarm?” she says sarcastically.
He looks up at her, smiling softly, and reaches out a hand.
She couldn’t explain why she takes it.
“I can feel the changes in the stream,” Leoben says, his voice still hoarse.
Kara’s eyes narrow. “Are the others getting better, too?”
He shakes his head. “No. Everyone else -- those who have resurrected get sick, and then die. They can’t come back again.”
Her eyes widen at the ramifications. “So you’re human now.”
Leoben tilts his head at her words, staring up pensively.
“That’s not what I meant,” Kara bites out. “I meant - you’re mortal.”
He smiles. “I’m alive, Kara.”
She frowns for a moment, then shrugs it off. “Have you eaten?”
Leoben nods, sitting up straighter. His body is still clearly sluggish, but his color is better than it’s been in days. “Let’s go,” he says, and lets her pull him to his feet. They maneuver up the stairs as Kara supports him, and Leoben unlocks the door.
As he reaches for the handle, Kara looks at him sharply, her face inches from his. “Why didn’t you die?” she asks.
Leoben turns to her, full of awe. “You know why,” he says, and he opens the door.
Pairing: Kara/Leoben
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1,655
Warning: While I don't think I touch on any triggery subjects here, this is set on New Caprica.
Summary: Kara is confronted with what it means to be human.
A/N: For prompts from
hearts_blood for Kara/Leoben hurt/comfort and from deborah_judge for Kara dealing with a sick Leobeon on NC. Thank you both!In Sickness and in Health
Leoben staggers in the door, slamming it behind him. He locks every lock, then stumbles down the stairs. Kara stares up at him, caught off guard.
He makes it almost all the way to the couch where she’s sitting before he collapses on the floor. His face is pale and sweat is rolling slowly down his cheek. He struggles to roll onto his back.
Kara leans over the arm of the couch to stare at him, upside down, the planes of his face meaningless.
Leoben coughs hard, the effort wracking his body. “Kara,” he gasps hoarsely.
“Huh.” Rising, she steps over him, and goes into the bedroom, and closes the door.
*
Sometime after dark, she comes out again. He’s still laying on the floor, his skin grey and damp. His eyes flutter open as she turns on the light and sets about making something to eat. When he turns to see her better, Kara shrugs. “I’m not about to starve because there’s something wrong with you.”
There’s no stove here - he wouldn’t trust her with fire - but she heats noodles in the microwave and sits on the edge of the couch, watching him. Halfway through her meal, Kara sighs. “Okay, I’m bored. What’s wrong with you?”
Leoben coughs, hacking, as he tries to speak. “I don’t--know. The baseship that left with,” he interrupts himself, coughing again. “Baltar. He was going to lead them to Earth.”
Kara stares down at him in horror. “Motherfrakker! He just gave us up! Just like that!”
He shakes his head, swallows convulsively. “Cavil said he’d nuke this--this planet. Would have.”
She grimaces. “Still.” She stares off toward the window, the narrow glimpse of real life continuing down below.
“Brought back a disease.”
Kara’s eyes snap to him. “Do all the Cylons have it? They’re all like this?”
He shrugs as best he can, flat on his back. “I resurrected with it...after you stabbed me.” For a moment his eyes close, his breath slowing, and then his whole body convulses in a coughing fit. “Water,” Leoben gasps, “Kara.”
She snorts. “Get it yourself.” She takes another bite of noodles, then sets them down beyond his reach and wanders to the window, looks down at the settlement. “Maybe it’s just your destiny to die.”
Leoben doesn’t answer. His breath rasps in his chest.
Kara stares for a long moment, then leaves him alone.
*
By the time she wakes up the next morning, he doesn’t seem to be quite conscious. When Kara gets close enough she can see his lips moving, mouthing something like her name, but he doesn’t make a sound.
She goes into the bathroom, breaks the mirror, holds a piece of the glass against his throat, just to see what he’ll do, whether he’s faking. Leoben’s eyelids flutter but he doesn’t react, even when she presses hard enough to draw a drop of blood.
Finally, rolling her eyes, she goes into the kitchen, pours him a cup of water and holds it to his lips. The taste of it brings him around enough to start to swallow, and by the time he’s finished his second cup he’s awake, staring up at her with awe and gratitude.
Kara shifts away from him, shrugging diffidently. “I figured if you died, the pain would be over, right? Better for you to suffer.”
He smiles at her. “I need to eat,” he says hoarsely.
Kara glares, then heads into the kitchen. “Bread?” she calls. “What do you think?”
He’s coughing again, can’t answer. She grimaces as she starts to take vegetables out of the refrigerator. “Soup it is,” she mutters to herself.
*
She gets him to eat something, but he seems to be getting worse: he’s shaking with fever. Kara reminds him it’s not too late to die and get it over with.
Leoben twists to look at her, afraid in a way she hasn’t seen before, didn’t see even when he was about to be airlocked. “Come on,” she mutters, and shifts him enough that she can half-carry, half-drag him toward the bedroom. Halfway there he throws up the soup and Kara drops him, looking down in revulsion. Then she sighs, and heads into the bathroom to start the tub.
“Sorry,” Leoben gets out as she lifts him again.
“Whatever,” Kara bites out, trying to lever him up. “My mother was worse when she’d been drinking.”
Hoisting him into the bath is the hardest part. She leaves his boxers on - her sympathy only extends so far. Once he’s in and propped up well enough, Kara settles on the floor across from the tub, staring at him in bemusement as the cool water brings his temperature down.
“What is it?” Leoben asks after a while, his voice sounding closer to normal.
She’s frowning at his pants, stained with sweat and vomit. “You’re machines. You don’t have to get sick. Why the frak would you choose to be like this?”
He doesn’t quite smile. “We are what you made us.”
“Humans didn’t make skinjobs,” she snaps.
“No.” His head rolls against the edge of the tub as he shakes it. “You made their minds. The Centurions. Let them think, let them want and and hate and love. God showed them that that was what it meant to be human. And they want to.”
Kara snorts in disgust. “But they also want us dead.”
Leoben stares at her, waiting for her to meet his eyes. “Didn’t you ever want your mother to be dead, Kara? Gone? Not hurting you anymore?” His teeth are chattering but he presses on. “Did it mean you didn’t love her? Were your feelings ever simple enough to put into words?” He groans and sinks a few inches into the water.
She glares at him a moment longer, then reaches for a towel. “Frak you.”
*
He seems to sleep once she drags him to the bed, but it’s filled with fever dreams, any energy left expended in thrashing and coughing. Kara tries to sleep out on the couch but is woken over and over by the sound of him in the bedroom. As the night passes she finds herself at the window, staring down at the settlement and thinking of her mother, of what those last days were like, of the choice to leave her alone.
Hours before dawn, Kara settles on the bed beside Leoben, shoving roughly at his shoulder to wake him.
He blinks up at her, looking even more tired than when she left.
“Did you mean it on the Gemenon Traveler?” Kara demands. “Did you think your soul would just be gone?”
For a long time he doesn’t answer. “I didn’t know,” he finally whispers. “I wanted to be with you.”
She leans back, glaring down at him. “What about now?”
He shakes his head. “There’s a prayer,” he offers. His voice is so hoarse she has to move closer again to hear. “To the cloud of unknowing. To offer our souls to God.” He turns to her, the fear from earlier back in his eyes. Leoben studies her, eyes tracing her features.
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you staring is rude?” Kara snaps peevishly.
“What if I never see you again?” he murmurs.
She looks back at him, fighting an inexplicable urge to cry. He’s coughed and sweated and vomited, but for the first time it seems like he’s nothing if not human. He might die. Kara reaches out, rests her hand on his. “Okay.”
“Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer,” Kara starts, weaving her fingers between Leoben’s. She watches their hands, not sure what it would mean to meet his eyes. He squeezes her hand as she continues to pray, to her gods and then, haltingly, to his.
His fingers go limp and she shudders in horror before realizing he’s fallen asleep. Kara doesn’t let go, just shifts to get more comfortable. “Do you know the story of Demeter and Persephone?” she asks softly, as if he’ll answer. “It’s been told lots of different ways, but this is the one I like best.” She spins the tale around them, and then another and another, whispering myths and stories and prayers until light starts to filter in the window. Then, at last, she lies down, resting her head on the blanket beside his shoulder.
*
When Kara wakes up, she’s alone. For a split second she’s sure he’s dead, that the Gods have taken him, but then just before she starts to cry, logic returns. He has a body; he has to be somewhere.
“Leoben?” Kara calls, sliding off the bed and heading into the living room.
He’s sitting up on the couch, head resting back against the wall.
“False alarm?” she says sarcastically.
He looks up at her, smiling softly, and reaches out a hand.
She couldn’t explain why she takes it.
“I can feel the changes in the stream,” Leoben says, his voice still hoarse.
Kara’s eyes narrow. “Are the others getting better, too?”
He shakes his head. “No. Everyone else -- those who have resurrected get sick, and then die. They can’t come back again.”
Her eyes widen at the ramifications. “So you’re human now.”
Leoben tilts his head at her words, staring up pensively.
“That’s not what I meant,” Kara bites out. “I meant - you’re mortal.”
He smiles. “I’m alive, Kara.”
She frowns for a moment, then shrugs it off. “Have you eaten?”
Leoben nods, sitting up straighter. His body is still clearly sluggish, but his color is better than it’s been in days. “Let’s go,” he says, and lets her pull him to his feet. They maneuver up the stairs as Kara supports him, and Leoben unlocks the door.
As he reaches for the handle, Kara looks at him sharply, her face inches from his. “Why didn’t you die?” she asks.
Leoben turns to her, full of awe. “You know why,” he says, and he opens the door.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 01:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 03:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 03:39 am (UTC)“What if I never see you again?” he murmurs.
She looks back at him, fighting an inexplicable urge to cry.
Hand to God, I choked up here.
The entire story was breathtaking, but I think my absolute favorite part was the final exchange, where Kara calls him human and then takes it back... and doesn't quite sound as though she really means it. And the last two lines, omg.
Thank you so very much for this. ♥ I'm bookmarking it for future h/c needs. *hugs you*
no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 01:07 pm (UTC)(Also, have you seen all the Persephone/Hades stories for this pairing that are out there? Some amazing stuff. I'd start with Deborah's Prayers to the God of Earth when you have time, and there are many others as well.)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 07:03 am (UTC)“Didn’t you ever want your mother to be dead, Kara? Gone? Not hurting you anymore?”
“Did you think your soul would just be gone?”
This hits that mother/parent thing right on the nose.
For a long time he doesn’t answer. “I didn’t know,” he finally whispers. “I wanted to be with you.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Kara bites out. “I meant - you’re mortal.”
He smiles. “I’m alive, Kara.”
These lines! Em, this fic is full of greatness, for its tenderness and delicate touch. Just wonderful. (Sorry, it's a bit early for thinky thought comments, but in simple words, I hug it.) ;D
no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 01:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 02:55 pm (UTC)This isn't a pairing I considered when I first watched the show, but in retrospect...it works. It works really well. I love how you've captured Kara's violent emotions, the hatred and the anger that seem to be her only ways of communicating, and put it against Leoben's certainty. And the comparison between him and her mother really hit home: it's one of the best analogies for the Cylons' complicated relationship with their creators that I've seen.
In short - I loved it :) And might have to go and rewatch some episode with my new shipping-goggles on :P
no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 03:46 pm (UTC)THE ENDING IS LIKE A MAGICAL FAIRYTALE.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 05:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-22 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 12:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 02:53 am (UTC)Liked his comparing her wanting her mom dead and yet caring to the Cylons wanting their parent race dead and yet being drawn to them--at least on an individual level.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 12:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-01 01:52 am (UTC)I love the ending, I love how she tells him about Demeter and Persephone whilst he is out cold and I love how she steps over him at the beginning!
no subject
Date: 2012-05-01 08:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-02 04:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-02 11:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-06 04:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-11 11:12 pm (UTC)