Thoughts on the Ship-Swap

[embolalia]

Well, this process definitely got me to write something I wouldn’t have written otherwise. I wasn’t set against the pairing or I wouldn’t have accepted the swap in the first place, but I probably never would have come up with this. I spent a lot of time discussing how to write these characters (mostly with Deborah, my swapper!) in a way that I don’t really with Kara/Lee because I already know how I write K/L. There have also been some good conversations about the process in general on Epics. In the end, I wrote Kara/Leoben in a very different way than anything I ever wrote for Kara/Lee--formatting, tone, all of it isn’t something I would think to do for Lee. I suppose what I’m saying is that Leoben as a character influenced the way I wrote him. Maybe my jokes this week about Leoben taking over my brain aren’t really jokes :)

Prayer was not at all what I set out to write, though in my initial notes there was actually a kernel of an idea about “five times Kara prays for Leoben” that I nixed because it wasn’t enough of a plot. I tried to write a piece with a plot instead, and did a draft, and may yet post it when I have time to make it work a little better. And the whole time, I guess, this was percolating in the back of my brain. Working on bsg kink bingo helped too, got me comfortable writing drabbles. (One of the creepier Leoben drabbles I typed start to finish and it was exactly 100 words. Gave me shivers myself!)

Writing for me has always been a way of exploring how I feel about characters or even about real life if that’s my topic. It’s sometimes easier for me to see my own perspective once I get it all out on paper. This story is like that to almost an eerie degree. In Leoben VIII, when he realizes the Kara in his visions was always reincarnated Kara--I didn’t know that until it was sitting on the screen in front of me. I’ve also found in rereading this piece how much their arcs are the same: Kara prays for strength and eventually gets it from Leoben; he prays for guidance and eventually gets it from her. It’s weird to have these things come out of your own brain and only realize it later. Really weird. I’m really happy with how it came out though--even before I reread it enough to understand how it all worked, I could feel it and was super excited as I finished the last lines of XX. I know there’s not a huge fanbase for this pairing, but people seem to like it, and that feels good, too.

Alright, enough rambling for now. Thoughts? Do you all find you’re writing in a different tone/format/style since you’re not using your usual pairing? How’s it going?

(ALSO apparently there’s a con going on 25 minutes from my house this weekend and Tricia Helfer is doing a session in a few hours. I’m trying to decide how awkward I’d feel going alone...or if it’s worth the money since I’m going to be unemployed after this week.)

Comments

[deborah-judge.livejournal.com]

I think it's whoever wrote the entry. I don't think the show sees Leoben as any worse than any other Cylon, which is admittedly damning with very faint praise.

but the way I think of him here, at least, is as someone driven by forces no one else can understand.

And maybe this also comes from the ship-swap: a lot of people who ship Kara/Leoben get defensive about it, saying things like 'it's creepy and wrong and faily but'...I know I sometimes do this too, and I sort of struggle with it...but you had no ship-shame in your story at all, you were even willing to write them a straightforward and unapologetic happy ending. I really struggle with that, feeling all kinds of faily whenever I write them a happily ever after. I wonder if it was easier for you because it's not your ship? Or if because you're used to writing Kara/Lee you think of happy endings are more possible?

[embolalia.livejournal.com]

I think if I wrote a story about Kara and Leoben as they are in the show on New Caprica hooking up, I would feel weird about it. (I'm not commenting on your recent story with that--you wrote them different enough from what was on screen that it could work.) Here I think I changed the characters just enough for myself, especially in the IX pair of drabbles, that I saw them as two people who gave each other the things they needed. And in that context, I could be okay with them having a happy ending. But when they (well, Leoben) were weird and obsessive and demanding? I don't think I could write that story.

As far as it not being my ship, I think I've been less aware than you probably of anti-Kara/Leoben sentiment, which may well have made me more willing to go for the happy ending.

[deborah-judge.livejournal.com]

especially in the IX pair of drabbles

Yes - you really put Leoben through a powerful transformation there, that felt both true to what he had been and transformative enough that he's really in a different place after it. Also, I think a happy ending feels more plausible once she's an angel/goddess, as in your story.

And basically your story is awesome and I keep re-reading it and it fills me with squee.

[embolalia.livejournal.com]

I keep re-reading it and it fills me with squee.

Yay!!!!! I think I've actually reread it myself more than almost anything I've posted :) For not being my usual ship/style, it kind of mesmerizes me that I wrote it!

[deborah-judge.livejournal.com]

Isn't writing in Leoben's voice the funnest thing ever? Not that I'm trying to encourage you to keep doing it...well, ok, I am totally trying to encourage you to keep doing it. You don't get as many comments, but look at the gorgeous writing you produce!

And, ok, while we're talking about it...what do you think happened between drabbles IX and X? Were they BFFs? Lovers? Or did they just do their own ways until X? Did things go AU in any way after IX or is it more a 'deleted scene'? And what do you think happened after drabble X, did she poof or decide to hang out for a while? Am I reading too much into the fertility imagery in drabble X to think that it implies that they had a child? I've been pondering these questions all weekend and making up various answers, but I'm curious what you think.

[embolalia.livejournal.com]

the funnest thing ever
The way this came out, I didn't have to actually write his dialogue as much, which worked because I'm still figuring it out, but he is an odd one for sure :)

As far as the story...I wrote this so quickly I didn't think too much about the length of time between IX and X. I imagine they would have stayed connected in some way, though. (As a usual K/L shipper, I'm okay with this mostly because there's less Kara/Lee in season 4 that at any other point during the show.)

In my mind, XX was their first time and then the poof didn't happen. In these circumstances I can see them having a child, but I wasn't really consciously going there--of course, as soon as you point it out, I can see it. With Kacey, I really do believe Kara wanted to be a mom for a minute. Maybe they did :)

[deborah-judge.livejournal.com]

The way this came out, I didn't have to actually write his dialogue as much

His voice came through very clearly (to me) in the drabbles from his POV and felt exactly right.

With Kacey, I really do believe Kara wanted to be a mom for a minute. Maybe they did :)

Makes sense. I think having a child at that point would be just about the biggest and most concrete expression of trust and hope that would be possible, which would completely fit with where you left them.

As a usual K/L shipper, I'm okay with this mostly because there's less Kara/Lee in season 4 that at any other point during the show.

And also she's an angel now, and in your story the angel is really a different person in a lot of ways (although still the same person in other ways). I'm thinking about a ficlet you wrote a while ago that implied that human!Kara was Lee's soulmate but not angel!Kara, and maybe that's relevant here too.

[embolalia.livejournal.com]

a ficlet you wrote a while ago

It actually took me a minute to remember what you were talking about :) I still haven't decided for myself what I think Kara was in the show--I just choose one option for the length of a story so it's consistent. But you're right, those do sort of fit together.